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It's Complicated

What does it REALLY mean to be a mother?  

When you were younger you thought you knew it all right? If you are like me, your mom drove you CRAZY! Lol. You couldn't wait to get from under her wing and be free because you had it all figured out. (Twirl!) Then life hits you hard from both sides and you quickly realize that you were so wrong and you owe your mom the biggest apology EVER! What were you thinking? You start to reflect on your childhood and reflect on all the wisdom that was poured into your life. It may have been your biological mom or you could have gathered your lessons and support from your aunt, God mom, adopted mom, stepmom, or grandmother. Let’s be honest, there may also be some lessons from the mistakes that mom made while raising you as well.  Regardless of who it was and how you learned your lessons, you realize one thing. Being a mother is HARD! You find grace towards other women and develop patience like no other. 

For some, Mother’s Day is extremely painful.  There are women who have suffered loss and would do anything to celebrate their moms. It reminds them of the one person that they are supposed to celebrate that is no longer there.  The person who nurtured and loved you unconditionally.  You can't call her and tell her she was right and you were wrong or any of the 100 other things you wish you could say.  It makes your heart ache every time you think about it.  You want to tell her about your tough days because you know she understands, you want to make her laugh at something your child just did, or you just want to connect because you miss your mommy.

   Mother's Day is a complicated day for many.  It's not all flowers and showers of love.  It can be painful for some people and I recognize that.  So, today I recognize all of those who struggle with celebrating Mother's Day.  For those who see it as bitter/sweet.  For those who did not have a picturesque childhood or whose parents may have been mentally or physically abusive.  For those that were neglected or their mother struggled with mental illness.  For those that have lost a baby or a child, you are also not forgotten.

     I understand that it's complicated and there may be mixed emotions.  However, the good news is you are here and you are alive.  Breathe in and breathe out.  You have the choice to do better and to be better.  Hug those around you, pour into them, and tell them how much you love them.  Share your story. Turn your lemons into lemonade by giving someone all the things you wish you had as a child or that you wish your mother could have given you.  And if you had a great childhood and took it for granted (like many of us have) call your mother and say thank you for giving me life and for the lessons you taught me. For those who are trying to conceive and become a mother, know that God hears your prayers.  Your time is coming!  For the babies and mothers that left this earth early, it’s okay to celebrate them and tell them you love them and until we meet again.  Finally, for those that may have not known their mothers, I see you and I send my love to ALL of you!

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